It's been such a blessing to be back home for a few days over Thanksgiving Break. Clint and I came together, and we've had such a relaxing and enjoyable time with my family. I am so grateful for them. For laughing and crying together. For being able to share things we're thankful for. I hadn't realized just how much I miss my family. I'm excited for getting to come back here after I graduate in December and spend some more time with my sisters who are fast becoming women and my parents who have invested so much time into my life.
The next few weeks are going to be crazy. I hit the ground running on Monday with classes and all kinds of pre-graduation tasks. I can't believe I only have 3 more weeks of training before I graduate on December 20. My time at MTC has gone so fast. I'm so grateful for it!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
The Master Baker
It's always slightly amusing to me to see how God uses things that I teach to others to teach me. This past weekend, we went out to the Boys Home twice, once on Saturday night and once on Sunday night. Saturday night, we got to do a special dinner and movie night with the guys that we planned. We watched October Baby. I'm just gonna say this now, if you haven't seen it, you need to. It's a Christian movie, but it's completely unlike other Christian movies out there. It's so, so good. All of the guys, who are teens who like action-packed adventure movies, were riveted, and they were totally engaged in the movie.
At any rate, October Baby is about adoption, so I was able to share with the guys about my experience being adopted. Wow. Talk about humbling. It was humbling for me to be so vulnerable, so painfully honest about what I've experienced. All the hurt that comes from feeling unwanted by my biological father. All the questions that I've wrestled through. Was I a mistake? What am I here for?
I've answered most all of those questions by now, but whenever I talk about my journey, it brings all that pain back. And yet it's been a part of my growth and maturity. It's made me who I am today. It's thrown me on God in a way that never would have happened otherwise.
I cried while I was sharing.
That was humbling.
But it was also healing.
Just realizing that God uses my suffering for good. Always. No matter what I'm going through, He WILL use it for good!!!!
We talked about that same thing the next evening at the Boys Home. Clint and I shared the story of Joseph with the guys, emphasizing that suffering we experience is for our good. We used the illustration of baking. All the ingredients (flour, sugar, salt, yeast, egg) make a mess. We don't see the end result. But the baker knows exactly what he's doing. Using those ingredients, he can make a delicious loaf of bread.
We likened these ingredients to our lives. Flour is soft. It represents the comfortable things in our lives. Sugar is sweet. It represents the enjoyable things. Salt is good, but we can't usually eat a lot of it. It represents the uncomfortable things in our lives. Yeast doesn't taste good at all. It represents the painful things in our lives that are really unpleasant, but they make us grow. And egg is the protein. Raw, it tastes gross. Cooked, it is delicious. It represents the things that make our lives stronger.
God uses a combination of these "ingredients" to make our lives what they are. He knows exactly how much of each ingredient He needs to use to "bake" our lives to perfection.
So yeah, that was really good to teach. And then Clint went in to the ER on Monday night with appendicitis.
Ummmmmm..... what?????
God tested my view of my own teaching. I found myself wondering, "God, what in the world are you doing??? We didn't need this right now!!! We're already stressed!" I'm pretty sure I threw the adult version of a temper tantrum in my heart.
But then I remembered. God is the Master Baker. I am not. He knows why we needed this experience right now. He is going to use this ingredient for good, even though it may taste nasty right now.
Come to think of it, I'd probably make my loaf of life with only flour and sugar. Not only would that bread not rise, but it would taste disgusting and would fall apart, even though my finite human mind thinks it would be delicious. I'm so glad that He is the Baker and not me!
Life hurts sometimes. A lot. But God is using it for good. Always. And I can trust Him, no matter what.
At any rate, October Baby is about adoption, so I was able to share with the guys about my experience being adopted. Wow. Talk about humbling. It was humbling for me to be so vulnerable, so painfully honest about what I've experienced. All the hurt that comes from feeling unwanted by my biological father. All the questions that I've wrestled through. Was I a mistake? What am I here for?
I've answered most all of those questions by now, but whenever I talk about my journey, it brings all that pain back. And yet it's been a part of my growth and maturity. It's made me who I am today. It's thrown me on God in a way that never would have happened otherwise.
I cried while I was sharing.
That was humbling.
But it was also healing.
Just realizing that God uses my suffering for good. Always. No matter what I'm going through, He WILL use it for good!!!!
We talked about that same thing the next evening at the Boys Home. Clint and I shared the story of Joseph with the guys, emphasizing that suffering we experience is for our good. We used the illustration of baking. All the ingredients (flour, sugar, salt, yeast, egg) make a mess. We don't see the end result. But the baker knows exactly what he's doing. Using those ingredients, he can make a delicious loaf of bread.
We likened these ingredients to our lives. Flour is soft. It represents the comfortable things in our lives. Sugar is sweet. It represents the enjoyable things. Salt is good, but we can't usually eat a lot of it. It represents the uncomfortable things in our lives. Yeast doesn't taste good at all. It represents the painful things in our lives that are really unpleasant, but they make us grow. And egg is the protein. Raw, it tastes gross. Cooked, it is delicious. It represents the things that make our lives stronger.
God uses a combination of these "ingredients" to make our lives what they are. He knows exactly how much of each ingredient He needs to use to "bake" our lives to perfection.
So yeah, that was really good to teach. And then Clint went in to the ER on Monday night with appendicitis.
Ummmmmm..... what?????
God tested my view of my own teaching. I found myself wondering, "God, what in the world are you doing??? We didn't need this right now!!! We're already stressed!" I'm pretty sure I threw the adult version of a temper tantrum in my heart.
But then I remembered. God is the Master Baker. I am not. He knows why we needed this experience right now. He is going to use this ingredient for good, even though it may taste nasty right now.
Come to think of it, I'd probably make my loaf of life with only flour and sugar. Not only would that bread not rise, but it would taste disgusting and would fall apart, even though my finite human mind thinks it would be delicious. I'm so glad that He is the Baker and not me!
Life hurts sometimes. A lot. But God is using it for good. Always. And I can trust Him, no matter what.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Hospital Visit
Hospitals are definitely not on my Top 10 Destinations list. Not that I have a list, but if I did, hospitals definitely wouldn't be on it.
Interestingly enough, though, I ended up spending a day and a half in a hospital this week. It further confirmed my suspicions: hospitals are not very fun places to be. But I also realized, I am so, so grateful for them.
Monday night around 10:00 pm, I had to take Clint in to the ER. He had appendicitis. Thankfully, it hadn't ruptured yet. They admitted us to the hospital around 2:30 am, and we got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to wake up again. We thought he would be able to have surgery around 7 or 8 am on Tuesday, but it didn't end up happening until 2:30 pm. We had to stay until noon Wednesday before they discharged him from the hospital. He's doing good now. He's able to eat solid food, and isn't in too much pain right now. We're so grateful that we caught it in time and were able to get in to the hospital.
I've never been in a hospital without my parents before. It was a bit nerve-wracking, especially since the patient was my future husband. I was pretty scared, but it was cool to see God working and providing throughout our time there.
It gives me a much greater appreciation for those who are in and out of hospitals constantly. Hospitals are not fun, and it's so hard watching a loved one in pain. How do you do it? Just a day and a half left me so drained. I want to be praying more for you. I feel like I can empathize more with you.
Thanks so much to all those who were praying. We are both so grateful for your care!
Interestingly enough, though, I ended up spending a day and a half in a hospital this week. It further confirmed my suspicions: hospitals are not very fun places to be. But I also realized, I am so, so grateful for them.
Monday night around 10:00 pm, I had to take Clint in to the ER. He had appendicitis. Thankfully, it hadn't ruptured yet. They admitted us to the hospital around 2:30 am, and we got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to wake up again. We thought he would be able to have surgery around 7 or 8 am on Tuesday, but it didn't end up happening until 2:30 pm. We had to stay until noon Wednesday before they discharged him from the hospital. He's doing good now. He's able to eat solid food, and isn't in too much pain right now. We're so grateful that we caught it in time and were able to get in to the hospital.
I've never been in a hospital without my parents before. It was a bit nerve-wracking, especially since the patient was my future husband. I was pretty scared, but it was cool to see God working and providing throughout our time there.
It gives me a much greater appreciation for those who are in and out of hospitals constantly. Hospitals are not fun, and it's so hard watching a loved one in pain. How do you do it? Just a day and a half left me so drained. I want to be praying more for you. I feel like I can empathize more with you.
Thanks so much to all those who were praying. We are both so grateful for your care!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
There's Something about a Fire
On the last night of our camping trip, we had a huge bonfire out in a field on campus. Don't worry, it was planned.
There's something about a fire. I don't know exactly what it is. I love watching the flames move and dance along the logs. I love feeling the heat and warmth on a crisp, cold night in winter.
Fires are almost spell-binding.
A thought came to me the other day. Am I on fire? Not literally, of course. But really, am I on fire for God?
People on fire are spell-binding. Their lives are burning, crackling blazes of glory, dedicated and passionate to God. Others are attracted to them. They want to be near them, to learn from them, to catch the flame that they have for God.
I wish I was on fire like that. Recently, I think I've let stress in my life (which is high right now because we're getting close to the end of the semester) drown the bonfire in my spirit until it's only a little flame. I want to be on fire again. To not let my circumstances dictate how bright my flame will burn. To be passionately in love with God.
A thought came to me the other day. Am I on fire? Not literally, of course. But really, am I on fire for God?
People on fire are spell-binding. Their lives are burning, crackling blazes of glory, dedicated and passionate to God. Others are attracted to them. They want to be near them, to learn from them, to catch the flame that they have for God.
I wish I was on fire like that. Recently, I think I've let stress in my life (which is high right now because we're getting close to the end of the semester) drown the bonfire in my spirit until it's only a little flame. I want to be on fire again. To not let my circumstances dictate how bright my flame will burn. To be passionately in love with God.
Friday, November 1, 2013
He Loves Me!
I thought I'd write a post about Clint, because I don't write about him all that often.
We got some engagement pictures done last week, and they turned out AMAZING! It made our engagement seem that much more real.
It's hard to believe I've known Clint for over a year now. We've been in a relationship for just over seven months, and we're getting married in exactly four months. Wow.
Every day is filled with new surprises and lessons that we're learning together. I am so thrilled that I get to learn and grow with this incredible guy.
I've learned so much more about God through Clint. It's amazing to be so close to someone who sees every fault, every tear, every frustration. And yet he still loves and accepts me unconditionally. I know I don't deserve it. I know that I'm not where I want to be in my Christian walk. Yet Clint is patient with me, constantly pushing me and challenging me to become more and more like Christ. I am awed by his love, and even more by God's love because it goes far beyond Clint's.
There are so many things I love about Clint. If I tried to name them all, you'd be bored out of your mind and probably be sitting here for at least a few hours. :)
So I'll spare you, but I want you to at least have an idea how amazing this guy is:
1. He loves God with all his heart
2. He is dedicated to reaching unreached people groups with the Gospel
3. He cares deeply about people
4. He balances me out and helps me think through things.
5. He is safe. I know I can trust him with anything.
6. He loves to laugh!
That's just a few things. I am so, so privileged and blessed to have Clint in my life! I thank God so much for him!
We got some engagement pictures done last week, and they turned out AMAZING! It made our engagement seem that much more real.
It's hard to believe I've known Clint for over a year now. We've been in a relationship for just over seven months, and we're getting married in exactly four months. Wow.
Every day is filled with new surprises and lessons that we're learning together. I am so thrilled that I get to learn and grow with this incredible guy.
I've learned so much more about God through Clint. It's amazing to be so close to someone who sees every fault, every tear, every frustration. And yet he still loves and accepts me unconditionally. I know I don't deserve it. I know that I'm not where I want to be in my Christian walk. Yet Clint is patient with me, constantly pushing me and challenging me to become more and more like Christ. I am awed by his love, and even more by God's love because it goes far beyond Clint's.
There are so many things I love about Clint. If I tried to name them all, you'd be bored out of your mind and probably be sitting here for at least a few hours. :)
So I'll spare you, but I want you to at least have an idea how amazing this guy is:
1. He loves God with all his heart
2. He is dedicated to reaching unreached people groups with the Gospel
3. He cares deeply about people
4. He balances me out and helps me think through things.
5. He is safe. I know I can trust him with anything.
6. He loves to laugh!
That's just a few things. I am so, so privileged and blessed to have Clint in my life! I thank God so much for him!
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