Love Is

I've been working on this post for a while now, because it's been on my mind. I've seen God work in so many ways over the past few months, and yet I've also seen so many times where it's all I can do to keep from sobbing uncontrollably all day long.

When I feel pain, that's when doubts creep in. Is God really loving? Is He really faithful? Is He really true?

I know the answer is yes. A thousand times yes!

So what is love? What is it, really?

Love is...
   ...shooting stars in the night sky
   ...a stunning sunset over mountains
   ...a hummingbird
   ...the delicate petals of a rose
   ...the voice of the man you love
   ...the smell of fresh bread baking in the oven
   ...the smile of a baby and the softness of his hair
   ...the laughter of children
   ...cool breezes in the summer evenings
   ...green, blue, brown. colors of the earth
   ...thunderstorms and rain
   ...the glorious roar of ocean waves on the shore
   ...days that make you love life
   ...God

And love is...
   ...pain - physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental
   ...heartache in every form
   ...sorrows that make your soul numb
   ...days that make you long for Heaven
   ...tears that flood your pillow at night
   ...a cross on which a sinless man died for the world
   ...God

How is that possible? How can God be loving in good times and in painful times? I don't claim to understand.

I only know that God is love. All the time. In everything we see and experience around us, He is love. And I can trust in that and rest in that, no matter how hard things get. Sure, I may be experiencing incredible pain. But He is there with me, every step of the way. He will never leave me. Ever.

God is love.

What a divine mystery.

There's Nothing Like a Sister (Part 2)

So I know I wrote last week about my sisters. Well, as I said then, it's been so much fun being together with them again and doing a bunch of crazy things. Tonight, I wandered into the bathroom where Marissa was experimenting with some eyeliner and eye shadow. I was kind of like, "wait, you're supposed to be five, not fifteen!" To which she was like, "Yeah, well I'm not five, sorry." By this time, Cari and Olivia had joined us in the bathroom, so then I decided to make the most of the fact that they have all grown up, and I said (very maturely), "Let's all put on makeup and show Mommy!" I guess the comment about being five reminded me of days gone by when I'd put on makeup and show Mommy. Usually the effect wasn't quite as beautiful as it is now, but hey, lipstick and eyeliner kind of look the same when you're five.

So anyways, the four of us then had a ton of fun putting on makeup, giggling, and doing all those girly sorts of things. Even though I'm not a huge makeup fan, it was awesome!

I've said it before, and I've said it again, there's definitely nothing like a sister! :)

Church

As I've been back in the States these past few weeks, I've been realizing more and more how much I take church for granted. You show up every Sunday morning (after having spent half the morning looking for something clean and nice to wear), you smile and greet everyone, you sing some, you listen to the sermon, and you go home. And then it happens next week.

But I've been seeing how much I need that time. That fellowship is precious. The words in the sermon should be impacting my life. Those songs are meant for me to be worshiping God.

I just spent 5 weeks in a country where I can't understand the language. I think I only attended one church service in English. Man, I used to take church so for granted! But now I've seen what it's like to attend a church service where you can't understand a word of what's being said. I've seen villages where there is no church yet. Where the people don't meet regularly. They don't sing songs. They don't hear a sermon every week. It's so incredibly difficult to be one of the only English speakers for miles around. You start to miss the fellowship of other believers and crave the words spoken by an English-speaking pastor.

I don't ever want to take the church for granted. Ever. Sure, it's got its problems. But it's the body of Christ, and it's a valuable part of the life of a believer.

That said, I'm so grateful for my home church. It's been so encouraging getting to see those who are praying for me and supporting me. I've missed all of them! And, as I've been seeing more and more, I never want to take them for granted!

Order

These last few days have been exceptionally full but great. I got to learn from some really good friends how to make cheese from goat's milk and how to milk/care for goats. That was quite an awesome experience!!! I had a TON of fun, and even got to take some of the milk home with me! It's delicious!

I also got to babysit some kids (human kids rather than goat kids). That was fun! I love playing with children (even when they pull your hair or throw temper tantrums...hopefully not simultaneously)!

One of my favorite things that I've gotten to do here is organize. Honestly, I love the feeling of putting things in order and making a place look clean and un-cluttered. I have found that I can live in chaos, but only for a short time before my brain starts to short out (ok, true, it does that anyways, whether my room is chaotic or not...). It got me thinking some about the world and how orderly God has made it. Things in nature come in clearly defined patterns, and when we see something out of place, it looks weird (like if one were to see a blue tree... blue belongs in the sky, thank you very much). And even the intricacy and detail of creation. It's all so orderly and neat. It reminds me that even when my life is chaotic, God has it under control. If He has arranged even the little petals on a daisy to be symmetrical, I am pretty sure He can handle my life too.

Like it says in Matthew 6:25-27 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

The Better Thing

I kind of feel like Martha right now. You know the drill. All of a sudden, a million things slam into the windshield of your life, and you're scrambling to clean all of them off and re-instate your life to a calm, sedate pace. (When is life ever calm and sedate? Point taken. So maybe not calm and sedate but at least manageable.) And then once it seems that you can take a breath (maybe on a Sunday afternoon), then life starts all over again.

It's in those hectic moments that I think we often lose sight of God. Things start to crowd out our vision. We start to let our circumstances dictate when and how often we spend time with God instead of remembering that every moment is an opportunity to talk with and relate with Him.

I'm really tempted to do that right now. Life is busy. It's awesome being home, but relationships, work, and various events try to command my attention.

I feel like Jesus constantly has to say to me "Martha, Martha" (although He tends to substitute my name in for Martha). Mary was commended, not for her business, but her devotion to Christ. I'm sure she was plenty busy at times. Yet she didn't let that crowd out her time with Jesus.

Hmmmmm...

Am I, like Mary, choosing the better thing? Am I choosing to spend time at Jesus' feet?


A funny quote from today (that has nothing to do with the above):
Olivia and I were arm wrestling, and I beat her. She kind of laughs and then says, "Let's wrestle again!"
To which I respond, "Sure, if you want to get beat again."
She laughs, then rubs her arm and says seriously, "Give me just a second. I think my veins got trampled on that last time."

How does one trample on veins??? Haha!

There's Nothing like a Sister

It's always such an incredible blessing to be back home, even if it's for a short time. It's so nice to be somewhere familiar, somewhere where you've spent most of your growing up years. I have to admit, I'm a Georgia girl through and through. No matter where I go in life, I know Georgia will always feel like home when I come back to visit.

It's been strange seeing my sister, Olivia, again. My other sisters are on a mission trip with my church to Nicaragua, so I've been able to spend some time with just Olivia. The last time I saw her, she was still a little girl. Now, she's almost as tall as I am, and she's starting to sound like my other sisters. I can't believe she's going to be 14 this September. I'm realizing more and more how much I miss seeing her grow up. I most likely won't get to see her graduate from high school. It's crazy how fast time flies. I remember when we first adopted her, and how she always had the cutest little potbelly as a baby. She probably won't appreciate me mentioning that, but it was really adorable!

The same goes for Marissa. It seems like just yesterday that I remember my parents announcing that we were going to have a new little sister. I remember the thrill of holding her tiny little form in my arms. I wanted to keep her there and never let her go. I remember asking my mom when she could play with us (of course, that's the only thing that matters to an energetic five-year-old). My mom had to gently remind me that Marissa was still a baby, and she wouldn't be able to play with us for a while yet. But let me tell you, when she started walking, she was on the move! Constantly. It was sometimes all we could do to keep her sitting still. And I think it was sometime around there that we gave her the affectionate nickname "Rissy", because, obviously, Marissa is too long of a name for a little girl. And somehow, even though she's not a little girl any more, the name has stuck. I think it'll stick for a long time.

And Cari. Wow, where would I be without her? The sister who I've laughed with, cried with, fought with, and played with since I was one and a half. My mom has videos of me and her together, both of us in diapers because I wanted to be just like my baby sister. Not the most flattering memory, but still pretty cute (if I say so myself). I don't remember much of our early years, but I remember she was always there for me. We did pretty much everything together. And then I grew up. I started blazing my own trail, my own way into the adult world. There are times when I still wish that we could travel it together. But I know that her path will look different than mine. I know that I will always miss that companionship.

It's going to be a great month, getting to hang out with these three girls who are fast becoming women. I'm excited! I treasure these days, because I know that I will desperately miss them in the years to come when I'm on the mission field and so, so far away.

I'm reminded of the quote that says "In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips."

Yup, it's true.

Pictures from PNG

Finally, some pictures from my trip! I'll be adding more as time goes on.

We made it (He is faithful)

Thank you guys SO much for praying!!! I honestly believe that's the only reason we made it back to the States. Our flights were a complete mess coming back. Our first flight took off 45 minutes after it was supposed to, so by the time we got to Port Moresby (capitol city of PNG), they had already shut down the ticket counter for our flight to Australia. Thankfully, some of New Tribes Mission's government representatives met us at the airport, so they were able to push the workers to check us in. We raced through customs and security, and managed to make it on the flight just in time! We had a 13 hour layover in Brisbane, which was long, but we were thankfully able to get some sleep. But, during the middle of the night, they cancelled our flight to Sydney. Go figure? So we had to get up around 4am to get our airline to find us another flight. Thankfully, there was one leaving 30 minutes earlier than our original one was scheduled to leave, so we were able to get on that. We flew to Sydney in great timing. Hey, here's a fun fact for you, it's currently winter Australia, so it was 50 degrees when we stepped out of the airplane onto the tarmac. Oh, believe me, that was GREAT FUN after just coming from temperatures of 80-90 degrees! (the sarcasm light was flashing there...) Anyways, after nearly freezing to death while walking for thirty seconds over the tarmac, we found out that our flight to LA had been pushed back to a departure of 1:40pm instead of the original 9:45am due to some schedule changes with flights from the previous day. SO.... thankfully we didn't have any connecting flights in LA. We survived the 13 hour flight to LA fine, and now we're in California with my grandparents.

So, as you can see, we definitely needed the prayer! It was an incredible trip, and it was so cool just to see God work out all the details. I've seen so much more clearly how He cares about everything in my life. He is completely and utterly faithful!

Why do I ever doubt Him???

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful

God, You are faithful

Last Day in PNG

Yup, I know there's a severe lack of posts regarding my trip to Papua New Guinea on my blog. I think that may sort of be my fault? Actually, I think it has to do more with the fact that I was without internet/email for the past two weeks, so there was really no way for me to post on here. At least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. :)

Ok, so I've discovered that Papua New Guinea is a country that is full of surprises and quirks (like any other country, obviously). For example, on Friday, we (Josiah, Rachel, my cousin Jeph, and I) were supposed to fly out of my uncle and aunt's tribe, the Kaulong, to stay for a few days at the mission base in Hoskins. We had purchased our tickets three weeks in advance, so of course we should be on the flight, right? Well, that would be right in the States. We had to really push to get on the flight, and even then we weren't sure if they'd have space for us. But God provided 4 seats for us so we could make it out to Hoskins. What a blessing!

Another funny thing is that everyone here has a cell phone. They might live in the dumpiest place around, but they have a cell phone. Go figure? Kind of like the States....

Oh, and you know how in planes, they always have the flight attendants saying stuff like, "Smoking is not allowed on this flight"? Well, you know you're in PNG when the flight attendants say "Chewing beetle nut is prohibited in the airport terminal." Beetle nut is a type of nut (shocking, I know). It's actually used here as a narcotic, but pretty much everyone chews it. It creates this red juice, and people spit it out. But, since the airport owners would rather not have red stains all over the floor of their airport, they prohibit the use of beetle nut in the airport (and yes, I did just use "airport" three times in that sentence)

It's so interesting to see the differences between PNG culture and American culture. But I've loved every second of learning the differences and quirks. I love these people here, and I love the way they are laid back and friendly (for the most part). I am excited to hopefully return here soon!

I'll continue to post more about my trip as the days go by. I just wanted to post something quickly before we leave.

We fly out tomorrow morning (July 2 for us) from Hoskins, and we should arrive back in the States on July 3. I'm sad about leaving PNG, but I'm ready to get back home.

Here are a few more pics:

All muddy after a game of soccer in the rain (the brown on my pants is mud)

With a Kaulong believer and her daughter

Eating a meal (that's pig meat in my right hand and taro, a very bland root, in my left)

I'll try to post more soon (soon, however, is a very relative word. This may mean in the next few days, or in a week or so, depending on how much internet connection I have when I get back to the States as well as how often I'm sleeping from jet lag, as well as if my computer is still in my possession by the time I get back to the States... and yes, the list goes on. So, if you don't see any more pictures in a "soon" amount of time, just wait a bit longer and they will probably appear)! And yes, that last parenthetical statement was solely for the benefit of those who actually read all the way to the end of my rather random posts... As you may be able to tell, I'm rather tired at the moment. :)