Well, I'm officially graduated from the New Tribes Missionary Training Center! Woohoo!!!!

It's really good to be done, but I know I'll miss everyone from my class. I guess now more than ever, I'm realizing that I'm not really ready to go on the mission field. I don't think I ever will be. But I guess that's where God wants me to be. He is the one who will enable me to go.

So anyways, I had a great Christmas with my family and Clint. It was a little bittersweet, just thinking that it may be the last time I get to spend Christmas with my family. I guess I never expected that it would come so soon.

We plan to have a few more days for relaxing and hanging out before we head out to the west coast to visit my grandparents and then Clint's family. Should be lots of fun!

My Class

It's been an amazing past year and a half here at the training center. Our class has been through a lot together. We've survived 4 hours of classes each weekday morning, working in a practice tribal village together, camping and killing chickens together, surviving various simulated situations where we were in "danger".

Our graduating class

It's been a fun time, but I've also learned so much from the people in my class. They've challenged me in ways I never expected. I learned lots by working on teams with various classmates and being in a small group with about 16 others. I'll miss these guys, but I am also very excited to see where God will lead each one of them in the future.

Some of them will be staying at the training center to start Linguistics or extra Technical training. Most, however, will be heading back to their home churches to start raising support to head overseas.

We have people going to Papua New Guinea, West Africa, Brazil, Philippines, Indonesia, Mexico, and Colombia. It thrills my heart to see all of these people with the same heart to reach the unreached. I can't wait to see what God will do through all of them!

Where from Here?

Many of you may faintly remember that I am graduating at some point soon. Actually, to help put it in perspective, I'll be graduating in 11 days. I am really excited! I will definitely miss this training center. It's been such an amazing experience, and I've absolutely loved it! However, I am also feeling ready to graduate, get married, and start the process of actually heading overseas.

So what happens after graduation? I'm so glad you asked.

Clint and I will both be moving back to Georgia a few days after graduation (and Josiah and Rachel's wedding!). We will be at my family's house for Christmas, and then we plan to fly out to California to visit my grandparents for a few days. After that, we'll fly up to Oregon to visit the Teeles. We'll be heading back to Georgia mid-January. I'll be living with my family and Clint will find an apartment somewhere nearby. We will be planning for our wedding until March 1. After our wedding, we'll start raising support. We would like to stay in Georgia until mid-July, and after that, we would like to move to Oregon. At this point, we plan to head overseas to Papua New Guinea in January 2015.

There will be a lot of changes in the next couple of months, but it's also exciting to see God begin a new chapter in my life.

And all of you, by the way, are invited to our graduation on December 20. I'm assuming a good majority of you won't be able to make it, but if, for some reason, you get a sudden urge to travel to Missouri on or around December 20, it would be a lot of fun to have you stop by! :)

Thanksgiving Break

It's been such a blessing to be back home for a few days over Thanksgiving Break. Clint and I came together, and we've had such a relaxing and enjoyable time with my family. I am so grateful for them. For laughing and crying together. For being able to share things we're thankful for. I hadn't realized just how much I miss my family. I'm excited for getting to come back here after I graduate in December and spend some more time with my sisters who are fast becoming women and my parents who have invested so much time into my life.

The next few weeks are going to be crazy. I hit the ground running on Monday with classes and all kinds of pre-graduation tasks. I can't believe I only have 3 more weeks of training before I graduate on December 20. My time at MTC has gone so fast. I'm so grateful for it!

The Master Baker

It's always slightly amusing to me to see how God uses things that I teach to others to teach me. This past weekend, we went out to the Boys Home twice, once on Saturday night and once on Sunday night. Saturday night, we got to do a special dinner and movie night with the guys that we planned. We watched October Baby. I'm just gonna say this now, if you haven't seen it, you need to. It's a Christian movie, but it's completely unlike other Christian movies out there. It's so, so good. All of the guys, who are teens who like action-packed adventure movies, were riveted, and they were totally engaged in the movie.

At any rate, October Baby is about adoption, so I was able to share with the guys about my experience being adopted. Wow. Talk about humbling. It was humbling for me to be so vulnerable, so painfully honest about what I've experienced. All the hurt that comes from feeling unwanted by my biological father. All the questions that I've wrestled through. Was I a mistake? What am I here for?

I've answered most all of those questions by now, but whenever I talk about my journey, it brings all that pain back. And yet it's been a part of my growth and maturity. It's made me who I am today. It's thrown me on God in a way that never would have happened otherwise.

I cried while I was sharing.

That was humbling.

But it was also healing.

Just realizing that God uses my suffering for good. Always. No matter what I'm going through, He WILL use it for good!!!!

We talked about that same thing the next evening at the Boys Home. Clint and I shared the story of Joseph with the guys, emphasizing that suffering we experience is for our good. We used the illustration of baking. All the ingredients (flour, sugar, salt, yeast, egg) make a mess. We don't see the end result. But the baker knows exactly what he's doing. Using those ingredients, he can make a delicious loaf of bread.

We likened these ingredients to our lives. Flour is soft. It represents the comfortable things in our lives. Sugar is sweet. It represents the enjoyable things. Salt is good, but we can't usually eat a lot of it. It represents the uncomfortable things in our lives. Yeast doesn't taste good at all. It represents the painful things in our lives that are really unpleasant, but they make us grow. And egg is the protein. Raw, it tastes gross. Cooked, it is delicious. It represents the things that make our lives stronger.

God uses a combination of these "ingredients" to make our lives what they are. He knows exactly how much of each ingredient He needs to use to "bake" our lives to perfection.

So yeah, that was really good to teach. And then Clint went in to the ER on Monday night with appendicitis.

Ummmmmm..... what?????

God tested my view of my own teaching. I found myself wondering, "God, what in the world are you doing??? We didn't need this right now!!! We're already stressed!" I'm pretty sure I threw the adult version of a temper tantrum in my heart.

But then I remembered. God is the Master Baker. I am not. He knows why we needed this experience right now. He is going to use this ingredient for good, even though it may taste nasty right now.

Come to think of it, I'd probably make my loaf of life with only flour and sugar. Not only would that bread not rise, but it would taste disgusting and would fall apart, even though my finite human mind thinks it would be delicious. I'm so glad that He is the Baker and not me!

Life hurts sometimes. A lot. But God is using it for good. Always. And I can trust Him, no matter what.

Hospital Visit

Hospitals are definitely not on my Top 10 Destinations list. Not that I have a list, but if I did, hospitals definitely wouldn't be on it.

Interestingly enough, though, I ended up spending a day and a half in a hospital this week. It further confirmed my suspicions: hospitals are not very fun places to be. But I also realized, I am so, so grateful for them.

Monday night around 10:00 pm, I had to take Clint in to the ER. He had appendicitis. Thankfully, it hadn't ruptured yet. They admitted us to the hospital around 2:30 am, and we got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to wake up again. We thought he would be able to have surgery around 7 or 8 am on Tuesday, but it didn't end up happening until 2:30 pm. We had to stay until noon Wednesday before they discharged him from the hospital. He's doing good now. He's able to eat solid food, and isn't in too much pain right now. We're so grateful that we caught it in time and were able to get in to the hospital.

I've never been in a hospital without my parents before. It was a bit nerve-wracking, especially since the patient was my future husband. I was pretty scared, but it was cool to see God working and providing throughout our time there.

It gives me a much greater appreciation for those who are in and out of hospitals constantly. Hospitals are not fun, and it's so hard watching a loved one in pain. How do you do it? Just a day and a half left me so drained. I want to be praying more for you. I feel like I can empathize more with you.

Thanks so much to all those who were praying. We are both so grateful for your care!

There's Something about a Fire

On the last night of our camping trip, we had a huge bonfire out in a field on campus. Don't worry, it was planned.

There's something about a fire. I don't know exactly what it is. I love watching the flames move and dance along the logs. I love feeling the heat and warmth on a crisp, cold night in winter.

Fires are almost spell-binding.

A thought came to me the other day. Am I on fire? Not literally, of course. But really, am I on fire for God?

People on fire are spell-binding. Their lives are burning, crackling blazes of glory, dedicated and passionate to God. Others are attracted to them. They want to be near them, to learn from them, to catch the flame that they have for God.

I wish I was on fire like that. Recently, I think I've let stress in my life (which is high right now because we're getting close to the end of the semester) drown the bonfire in my spirit until it's only a little flame. I want to be on fire again. To not let my circumstances dictate how bright my flame will burn. To be passionately in love with God.

He Loves Me!

I thought I'd write a post about Clint, because I don't write about him all that often.

We got some engagement pictures done last week, and they turned out AMAZING! It made our engagement seem that much more real.

It's hard to believe I've known Clint for over a year now. We've been in a relationship for just over seven months, and we're getting married in exactly four months. Wow.

Every day is filled with new surprises and lessons that we're learning together. I am so thrilled that I get to learn and grow with this incredible guy.

I've learned so much more about God through Clint. It's amazing to be so close to someone who sees every fault, every tear, every frustration. And yet he still loves and accepts me unconditionally. I know I don't deserve it. I know that I'm not where I want to be in my Christian walk. Yet Clint is patient with me, constantly pushing me and challenging me to become more and more like Christ. I am awed by his love, and even more by God's love because it goes far beyond Clint's.

There are so many things I love about Clint. If I tried to name them all, you'd be bored out of your mind and probably be sitting here for at least a few hours. :)

So I'll spare you, but I want you to at least have an idea how amazing this guy is:

1. He loves God with all his heart
2. He is dedicated to reaching unreached people groups with the Gospel
3. He cares deeply about people
4. He balances me out and helps me think through things.
5. He is safe. I know I can trust him with anything.
6. He loves to laugh!

That's just a few things. I am so, so privileged and blessed to have Clint in my life! I thank God so much for him!

Camping Trip and Pictures

Ok here are a few pictures from our camping trip this past weekend. Half of our class went last weekend and half went the weekend before. I got to camp with my E-linc group.

Thursday, we had to pack all our stuff out to the campsite (which was in the woods on campus) and set up camp. Each of us had to build our own shelter with tarps, ropes, and sticks. Rachel and I built a shelter together, and apparently it was really good because Clint was impressed by it. :) It was an A-frame tent with just enough room for the two of us. It was quite cozy! That first night, it got down to 28 degrees, and it was COLD! But I actually ended up sleeping really well, which was a blessing!

Friday, we had classes out in the woods most of the day. Saturday, we got to butcher chickens, which was quite fun! I actually got to butcher some last month, so I knew sort of how to do it. It was really fun! We also had to hike through the woods using a compass and GPS (not the car GPS that tells you "Recalculating" all the time) to find coordinates for different things, including our meal for the night (don't worry, it was in a cooler). Then on Saturday night, we had a HUGE bonfire! Lots of fun! Sunday, we packed up and headed home.

So all in all, it was a great time! I learned a lot more about working with a team and just learning to survive out in the woods.  Here are some pics taken by my E-linc leader.

I'm Back (and other thoughts)

From the title, you can see that I'm back from my twelve days of disappearing. They were very fun days, especially because I had no idea that all sorts of things were happening in the world, such as the government shutting down. It's actually really funny how much happens when you can't check the internet. How in the world did people survive before they had the internet???

Ok so really, it wasn't that big of a deal.

It was actually a really sweet and amazing time. I got to spend my evenings around campfires or in my house with candles. It was so peaceful. I did a lot of singing and playing guitar in my house, which was fun and relaxing. And I got extra time to read (or listen to Clint reading).

I was struck by how simple and sweet life can be without things like internet, electricity, and sometimes even water. Yes, it's more difficult at times and can add a bit more stress to life in some ways. But it does something to the human soul. I think it's how we were created to be. We were created for nature, beauty, and a relationship with God. But so often, everything else clouds our view, and we don't see all that. We often can't even look at the stars at night without street lights getting in the way.

I got to see the stars again this weekend without any street lights around. And they were beautiful. So, so beautiful.

Oh, the things we miss when we let life choke out God! I know I've done that recently. I've let myself get so busy that I don't have time to think. Time to just be alone with God. Time to process things I'm dealing with. I miss that time.

To go along with my thoughts, here are a few quotes from the past few days of classes:

"We are bloated when it comes to biblical resources and atrophied when it comes to authenticity."

"I’m convinced that we don’t need to know more. We need to start living what we know."

"If God fits into our worldview, then we are god, not Him." 

I don't ever want to let God fit into my worldview, thinking that I have Him all figured out and I don't need to spend time with Him. I want to be awed by Him every day.

Ok, so I guess I've done a lot of thinking over the past two weeks. It's been good. And I pray that God will continue to teach me through my final two months of training here.


P.S. I'll be putting up some pictures from the past two weeks really soon! We did some really fun stuff!

Disappearing for Twelve Days

As a part of our training, we are required to do a class called Practical Skills, which teaches us things like how to cook from scratch (if we didn't know already), how to live with little or no electricity, how to use all kinds of tools (including chainsaws and stuff like that), and a whole bunch of other stuff. It includes a twelve day section called Simple Living where we are required to have no electric lights from 8pm-7am, no electric appliances, and also no internet or phones (just 1 hour a week for each). It should be a lot of fun!

So why am I telling you this? Well, that section starts this morning in half an hour, and I wanted to post on here so that you know that if you don't hear from me for the next twelve days, it doesn't mean anything bad is happening... it actually means I'm following directions. :)

And, if you try contacting me via email or phone, I may not write or call you back for a while.

I'm really excited about this part of the training, and I think it will be good practice for all of us to be able to do without various things that we normally use every day, like electric lights. And, we have a camping trip next weekend, so that should be quite a fun experience!

So, just in case you feel like I'm disappearing from the internet for twelve days, it's true. I am. :)

Not satisfied

Was really impacted by this quote this morning:

"Never be satisfied with what you knew about God yesterday."

So often I can just gloss over my time with God. You know, read a little from the Bible, pray, and get on with the day. Yeah, life is busy.

But I think when I do that, I'm missing the whole point of all those things. Am I just reading the Bible to say I read it? Or am I reading it to know more about God today?

I've been reading through John recently, and I read through Judas' betrayal and crucifixion today. Just a disclaimer in case you didn't realize this already, I can get excited about the craziest things sometimes. And as I was reading today, I saw something I'd never seen when reading the Gospels before (at least, I think I'd never seen it. With my memory, you never can tell). You remember the servant guy whose ear Peter chopped off with a sword in the Garden of Gethsemane? Well, I noticed today that he has a name!!!

Um yeah.... what's so special about that?

This guy was an accomplice to Jesus' death. Yeah, maybe he didn't quite know what was going on (John didn't include that particular detail), but he was still there, at least somewhat in the picture (otherwise, why would Peter have cut off his ear?).

And yet Jesus has compassion on this guy. He heals his ear. That in and of itself would have made me think twice about arresting Jesus. But not only does Jesus heal him, He makes sure that we have this guy's name written down. And now, when we read this passage, we can see that God cares about each and every one of us. He knows our names. He knows when we're hurting. He knows our life stories. He's not up there condemning us. He didn't do that with Malchus (that's the guy's name, by the way). We deserve death, but He chose instead to die in our place and to even go beyond that by healing us. He doesn't just heal physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and (most importantly) spiritually.

Those truths blow my mind. And I never want to get satisfied with that knowledge. I want to know more.

Suffering

I know it might be strange to write on this topic just after posting about how much fun I'm having with friends. But I think the two go hand-in-hand. Relationships are an incredible part of God's plan for our lives, but suffering is too.

I know I've written tidbits on this before, but I thought I'd post about it again. I've heard and read so much about suffering in the past few days. It's kind of crazy, but I think God is trying to teach me something.

I've kind of gone through life with the perspective that suffering is bad. Pain isn't good, right? Or is it?

I guess I'm just seeing more and more how small of an understanding I have of God. I see suffering all around me. On Sunday night, we were at the boys' home for ministry. Clint was teaching about the Fall of man in Genesis 3, and the guys were furious.

"How can God be so good when my life has been the crap hole it's been?"

Yeah, they didn't use the best language, but honestly, I think that is because of how deeply they've been wounded in their short lives. Many of these guys are fatherless. They've been told their whole lives that they are failures. That they are worthless. And so they act on it. And they wind up in juvenile detention centers and places like this boys' home. Some of these guys have told me that they have terrible nightmares at night because of the things they've experienced. They hate sleeping because it's such a terrifying experience.

I felt like weeping.

And then one of Clint's friends who are missionaries overseas in Africa just lost their baby girl this past week. It was so sudden. So abrupt. They didn't really even know she was sick until a few weeks ago. I know the pain must be so intense for them right now.

Again, I felt like weeping.

Why does God allow so much suffering? Why do teenage boys fear sleeping at night? Why do babies die before they've really even had a chance to live? Why? Why, why why????

And then I'm reminded of the truth of God's Word. He sees the bigger picture. We don't. He is working all things for good. We can't see that. He does ALL things well. He is breaking us to heal us.

If I as a finite human being want to weep over suffering in the world, including my own, how much more does God? He sees it all. It must break His heart so, so deeply.

I heard this amazing song as I was writing this, and I wanted to post the lyrics, because I feel like it portrays so well the emotions we often feel in regards to suffering.

You Do All Things Well
Tenth Avenue North

Father in Heaven, hear this simple prayer
Get us through the night and fill up our despair
Pain has come and taught us to fear
We’re gonna need some grace now to fill the air
‘Cause in the twilight, we need eyes to see
How You’re working beauty even out of ugly things

You do all things
You do all things
You do all things well
You do all things
You do all things
You do all things well

Father, among us, keep us in Your arms
There’s evil all around us and we’re trying to hold on
Just to know that You’re still good
And that Your love is alive
Oh, let us cling to Jesus and sing tonight

You do all things
You do all things
You do all things well
You do all things
You do all things
You do all things well

You break me to bind me
You hurt me, Lord, to heal me
You cut me to touch me
You died to revive me
You break me to bind me
You hurt me, Lord, to heal me
You cut me to touch me
You died to revive me

You do all things
You do all things
You do all things well
You do all things
You do all things
You do all things well

So glad for friends!

It's been really good getting back with my friends here at MTC. We have a lot of fun together hanging out and doing stuff. It's so good to have a break from homework, class stress, and everything else and just have fun. So, so glad for friends! :)

Enjoying the beautiful weather at a local state park

And it's so good to be able to challenge and encourage each other, especially as we're going through our practicum class. We're almost done with that, but all the final papers have been a lot of work. We've had 4 papers due (one of them being 8-12 pages) during the last week. While that's nothing for college, these are the first papers we've written in several months (yeah, I know, it's shocking that we didn't write any over the summer). 

Having fun at a birthday party for Rachel

So yup, it's been fun and encouraging!

Vote for NTM

New Tribes is attempting to get win a $10,000 aviation grant to help buy a new Kodiak plane. The Kodiak is an incredible aircraft. It's built for missions. It can hold a lot of cargo for a small plane, but it's able to still land on some of the most difficult airstrips in the world. NTM has been able to get one of these planes already, but the need for more is so huge! 

The winner for the grant is determined by votes, so the more votes, the better chance New Tribes has of winning. From what I've heard, they are in 2nd place right now, so I thought you guys might like the chance to help out. I think the current 1st place candidate is a company that is trying to get money to fly dogs around. Um, what?????? Anyways, I definitely think people are more important than dogs, so I'm voting for NTM! :)

Here's the link:
http://www.lightspeedaviationfoundation.org/content.cfm/Voting/Get-to-know-the-2013-finalists/New-Tribes-Mission

You just type in your name and email address, and it counts your vote. I used both of my two email addresses to vote. 

This is a really easy thing to do, and it will make a world of difference for NTM missionaries! Would you take 5 minutes to help vote? Thanks guys!

Learning through Ministry

I haven't written about my ministry at the Boy's Home for a while. It's a really exciting time right now! The group of guys that we have currently seem to be hungry for truth. We started out at the beginning of the semester by giving them the Gospel... Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection. Now, we're going back to the beginning of the Bible and teaching about Creation and who God is. This next Sunday, we are teaching about the creation of man and how much God values us because we are created in His image. The guys are actually interested in hearing God's Word. All of them, except a few, have been attending. We read some from Psalm 139, just pointing out how God knows all our thoughts, and one of the guys said, "I find it comforting that God knows my thoughts. He understands!" 

Wow. Sometimes I find it terrifying that God knows my thoughts. This guy's comment reminded me again that this fact should actually comfort me, because it shows how much He loves me, even when my thoughts are not in line with the truth of His Word. 

Josiah teaching at the Boy's Home

Please be praying for the guys at our ministry. We have about 7-8 guys at the home right now, and most of them will be there for a while still. But our time is so short, and we want to impact them with the truth as much as possible. We know it's only God who can change their thinking. Pray that they would be responsive to Him!

What a Simulation Can Teach You

I never realized how incredibly challenging, encouraging, stressful, and amazing a simulation could be.

That's what we're doing right now... a simulation. It's a 6 week-long class here at MTC where we get to practice things that we've learned over the past year. Actually, not just "things". We're practicing pretty much EVERYTHING we've learned.

Anyone who's ever done a simulation before knows that it helps solidify material that you've learned, but it also brings up aspects of the situation that you've never thought of before. This simulation is no different.

I've discovered so much more about myself and the way I process. But I've also seen how difficult it is to work on a large team. We've had several heated (note the "heated) discussions in our class of 45ish students about various things in the simulation. Things you never would have thought would be an issue. Things like how much to pay someone for helping you learn their language and culture. Apparently, that's a really, really big issue in many places around the world. In some locations, how much you pay your language helper can totally ruin the tribe's society because they aren't used to receiving money like we are.

Another sore topic has been smoking and drinking. Think about it. If someone in the States offers you a beer, it's ok to say no if you don't want to drink. There's nothing wrong with it. However, in a lot of locations around the world, refusing a sip of beer could completely jeopardize your relationships with the people. They might take offense at your refusal simply because it is a way of life for them and it is a way they show that they are friends. And if you don't know the language very well, it could be really hard to fix that mistake.

And there are a million other minute details that you would never even consider when going into another culture. Add to that the 45 different personalities represented by our class, and you've got quite the simulation on your hands.

So yeah, it's been good, but somewhat stressful. All the details, information, and interpersonal issues make it a challenging class, but it's also helping me think through a lot of good stuff. For instance, am I really going to make a good teammate for my coworkers on the field? Am I working to solve issues or simply stewing about things that don't go my way? Am I focusing on building relationships or am I focusing too much on the task at hand? What would Jesus do if He was in the situation?

I guess there's a lot of questions, and I'm still learning the answers. I'm glad I can begin to learn them here instead of on the field where the results could be a lot more disastrous.

Lies

Clint and I were reading this book last night. It's about lies that we as Christians often believe. I've read the book once before, but as Clint was reading the first chapter aloud to me, I was struck by how strongly I believe certain lies. You'd think after 20 years of living on planet earth, I'd be able to discern my thought patterns and habits. Actually, I think the longer you live, the more you realize you're an idiot most of the time, at least in your thought life. Ok, so maybe that's just me, I don't know. It's not usually something I go around asking people, "So, what lies are YOU believing today???" But maybe I should start. Because lies are so incredibly destructive to each one of us.

I guess I've been thinking a lot on this lately because I've been seeing different things that I'm doing every day that are displeasing to God, yet I don't want to give them up because they feel right to my humanity. I feel like that bird that always flies into the window yet never gives up because it thinks there's another bird there. Dumb bird.

And then I look at my life and have to say, dumb human.

I mean really, sometimes we're so incredibly dumb. It'd be almost funny if it weren't so incredibly not. We whine and complain about the craziest things, all because we don't believe that God is really good. Everything He's placed in our lives has a purpose. He has a rhyme behind His reason. And we sin. All the time. Habitually. Returning to the very things we've vowed over and over to never repeat. How dumb is that? Again, we don't believe that God is really good.

Lies affect us so much. They cause us to do stupid things. Cause us to doubt God and therefore get all worked up about things. But we don't see them so often. Here are some that jumped out at me that I believe:

1. "I have to be perfect" Is that really a lie???
2. "My worth is determined by my performance" Yup, believe that one all the time
3. "Life should be fair" Well...shouldn't it? Good American lie right there
4. "I must have everyone's love and approval" .........um yeah guilty.......
5. "God's acceptance must be earned" ouch...looking at it makes it sound bad, but I know I act on it a lot

So yeah, lies definitely affect my thinking. I believe them without even trying. I want to get better at finding them. At weeding them out of the garden of my mind (yes, there is a garden. Not a very organized one, but it's there).

As John 8:31-32 says, "If you hold to my teaching, then you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

I want to be free.

First Week at MTC

It's been so good to be back at MTC. I had no idea how much I missed this place. I have a schedule again, which has been so incredibly good. That's one thing I learned over this summer: I work best with a steady, predictable schedule. It's ok if there's a bit of variance within it, but at least I know what to expect next. So that's definitely been a blessing to have back.

An example of the assignments we had for phonemics

Our first week of classes was busy because we had a bunch of re-orientation stuff to do during the afternoons. But the classes have been good so far. We had a 12 hour class called Phonemics for our first few days. It's basically how to understand a language from an insider's perspective instead of an outsider's. It helps you figure out the very depths of a language so that you can analyze it, develop an alphabet and grammatical structure, and teach the people how to read and write their own language. A lot of work for sure!

This past weekened, a bunch of the students from MTC went on a canoe trip down a 9 mile river. It was a lot of fun! Unfortunately, I don't have any pics, but it was so relaxing to get away from campus and just enjoy God's creation.

Today, we finish up a class called "Literacy". We've had that class for the past 3 class days, and it's been a ton of fun! We're learning how to develop primers so that we can teach people how to read and write their own language. We each got to make our own 12-page primer with English words (written phonetically, so you wouldn't know what they said), and it was a ton of fun!!!

All in all, it's been good to be back, but there are still a lot of things that I could use prayer for. I feel like Satan is trying to really discourage and attack me right now in a lot of little ways, including the fact that I picked up a cold somewhere recently. So if you could pray for strength and protection, that would be awesome.

A Tribute to a Cousin

Sometimes cousins are really distant. Sometimes, they are like siblings. This cousin has been both.

He grew up in Papua New Guinea, so I didn't really get to know him very well as we were growing up. So when he came back to the States four years ago and started living with my family, I had a hard time adjusting. I hardly knew this guy, and I'd never had a brother before. But God worked, and we became fast friends. I'll never forget the many hours we spent together laughing, talking, playing games, and doing stuff together. It was a really neat time for me of growing and challenge.

If it wasn't for this cousin, I wouldn't be here at MTC right now. It was his example that challenged me to apply to the MTC last year. And I am SO thankful that he did!!! It's been one of the most incredible experiences of my life thus far!

This cousin is a man after God's heart. He is diligent, hardworking, thoughtful, patient, considerate, and a great friend. He has a heart for people and wants to serve them.

I'm so excited that he's engaged and getting married. While it's sometimes hard to feel like I'm losing a brother, I'm so incredibly grateful to see what God is doing in his life and how He's bringing this marriage together. It's so cool to see!

We've had our ups and downs. Our struggles and quarrels. But that's all a part of being almost-siblings. It sometimes hurts. But it's also full of fun and joy.

Happy Birthday, Josiah (sorry, this is actually a day late)! I'm so glad I know you, and I hope that our friendship continues until we're old and grey, and our teeth are falling out. :) I love you!

I'm Getting Married! :)

Clint asked me to marry him last Saturday out in Oregon. I said "yes"! I'm so incredibly excited! We're thinking of a March wedding, but not entirely sure yet.

I'm so, so grateful for Clint. He is an amazing man who loves God and desires to serve Him with all his heart. We complement each other so well. And he's incredibly good with his hands, so he can fix all the things I blow up overseas. :)

At this point, I have one more semester here at MTC before I graduate, and then we plan on getting married. After that, we'll be raising support to head overseas, and we'd like to be in Papua New Guinea sometime in the next 2 years or so. We're both really excited and trusting God to lead us in His timing for heading to the mission field!

I've attached a few pictures from our time together in Oregon.

Free to Struggle

I heard one of the most incredible songs the other day. I'm sure many of you have heard it, but the words just stuck in my brain. 

I think often about the struggle that we have as believers. We're still sinful human beings, but we are now in Christ, seated in the heavenly places. We're sons and daughters of God. Yet we turn so often to the meaningless, worthless things of this world. We so often settle when God wants us to thrive. We hang on to the chains of sin when they have already been broken off of us. 

Why? 

We have been given so much grace and freedom. Yet we abuse it so often. We often don't fight when we should. We don't stand up when we need to. We don't refuse temptation when it's offered.

So anyways, this song really put it all in perspective for me, and it reminds me that we are free to struggle, but we're no longer struggling to be free. So, so amazing. 

It's hard to believe today is August 1. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating the new year, and now it's almost over. This summer has been one of the coolest I've ever experienced during my 20 years of living in Georgia, and it's quite a blessing for a change. But it also makes it difficult to do anything fun outdoors because with the cool weather has come an enormous wave of rain storms. It's rained almost every afternoon that I've been here. It's not unusual for north Georgia to get a lot of rain, especially in the summer. Apparently, we live in the second rainiest place in the continental US after the northwest coast. Go figure.

Last night, we had the biggest thunderstorm I've seen in 10 years here. It rained HARD! Tiny creeks were roaring rivers this morning, and a lot of flash flooding occurred in our area. I guess the storm was big enough that the news channels were even sending camera crews to our town to capture footage. We were out of power for almost the entire day here, and several roads were even washed out due to streams and rivers overflowing their banks. Thankfully, not a lot was damaged that I know of, and everyone is still able to get where they need to go. But still, quite an experience for my last week here!

August not only means a lot of heat (usually...), but it also means the start of school. Classes at MTC start August 19, and I'm really excited to get back into life there! Going to PNG this summer has made me even more excited to finish training and get on the field so I can start the process of heading overseas full time!

August also means that I'll be heading out to Oregon very soon to visit Clint and his family. I'm really excited about getting to see him again! We've been apart all summer, which has been really difficult, but we're discovering how incredibly grateful we are to the inventors of Skype and cell phone service! It will be so good to be back together and get to meet his family as well.

So, all that to say, I'm enjoying my last few days here in Georgia, rainy though they may be. I'd definitely appreciate prayers as I prepare to head out to Oregon, and from there back to Missouri for my final semester of training.

Love Is

I've been working on this post for a while now, because it's been on my mind. I've seen God work in so many ways over the past few months, and yet I've also seen so many times where it's all I can do to keep from sobbing uncontrollably all day long.

When I feel pain, that's when doubts creep in. Is God really loving? Is He really faithful? Is He really true?

I know the answer is yes. A thousand times yes!

So what is love? What is it, really?

Love is...
   ...shooting stars in the night sky
   ...a stunning sunset over mountains
   ...a hummingbird
   ...the delicate petals of a rose
   ...the voice of the man you love
   ...the smell of fresh bread baking in the oven
   ...the smile of a baby and the softness of his hair
   ...the laughter of children
   ...cool breezes in the summer evenings
   ...green, blue, brown. colors of the earth
   ...thunderstorms and rain
   ...the glorious roar of ocean waves on the shore
   ...days that make you love life
   ...God

And love is...
   ...pain - physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental
   ...heartache in every form
   ...sorrows that make your soul numb
   ...days that make you long for Heaven
   ...tears that flood your pillow at night
   ...a cross on which a sinless man died for the world
   ...God

How is that possible? How can God be loving in good times and in painful times? I don't claim to understand.

I only know that God is love. All the time. In everything we see and experience around us, He is love. And I can trust in that and rest in that, no matter how hard things get. Sure, I may be experiencing incredible pain. But He is there with me, every step of the way. He will never leave me. Ever.

God is love.

What a divine mystery.

There's Nothing Like a Sister (Part 2)

So I know I wrote last week about my sisters. Well, as I said then, it's been so much fun being together with them again and doing a bunch of crazy things. Tonight, I wandered into the bathroom where Marissa was experimenting with some eyeliner and eye shadow. I was kind of like, "wait, you're supposed to be five, not fifteen!" To which she was like, "Yeah, well I'm not five, sorry." By this time, Cari and Olivia had joined us in the bathroom, so then I decided to make the most of the fact that they have all grown up, and I said (very maturely), "Let's all put on makeup and show Mommy!" I guess the comment about being five reminded me of days gone by when I'd put on makeup and show Mommy. Usually the effect wasn't quite as beautiful as it is now, but hey, lipstick and eyeliner kind of look the same when you're five.

So anyways, the four of us then had a ton of fun putting on makeup, giggling, and doing all those girly sorts of things. Even though I'm not a huge makeup fan, it was awesome!

I've said it before, and I've said it again, there's definitely nothing like a sister! :)

Church

As I've been back in the States these past few weeks, I've been realizing more and more how much I take church for granted. You show up every Sunday morning (after having spent half the morning looking for something clean and nice to wear), you smile and greet everyone, you sing some, you listen to the sermon, and you go home. And then it happens next week.

But I've been seeing how much I need that time. That fellowship is precious. The words in the sermon should be impacting my life. Those songs are meant for me to be worshiping God.

I just spent 5 weeks in a country where I can't understand the language. I think I only attended one church service in English. Man, I used to take church so for granted! But now I've seen what it's like to attend a church service where you can't understand a word of what's being said. I've seen villages where there is no church yet. Where the people don't meet regularly. They don't sing songs. They don't hear a sermon every week. It's so incredibly difficult to be one of the only English speakers for miles around. You start to miss the fellowship of other believers and crave the words spoken by an English-speaking pastor.

I don't ever want to take the church for granted. Ever. Sure, it's got its problems. But it's the body of Christ, and it's a valuable part of the life of a believer.

That said, I'm so grateful for my home church. It's been so encouraging getting to see those who are praying for me and supporting me. I've missed all of them! And, as I've been seeing more and more, I never want to take them for granted!

Order

These last few days have been exceptionally full but great. I got to learn from some really good friends how to make cheese from goat's milk and how to milk/care for goats. That was quite an awesome experience!!! I had a TON of fun, and even got to take some of the milk home with me! It's delicious!

I also got to babysit some kids (human kids rather than goat kids). That was fun! I love playing with children (even when they pull your hair or throw temper tantrums...hopefully not simultaneously)!

One of my favorite things that I've gotten to do here is organize. Honestly, I love the feeling of putting things in order and making a place look clean and un-cluttered. I have found that I can live in chaos, but only for a short time before my brain starts to short out (ok, true, it does that anyways, whether my room is chaotic or not...). It got me thinking some about the world and how orderly God has made it. Things in nature come in clearly defined patterns, and when we see something out of place, it looks weird (like if one were to see a blue tree... blue belongs in the sky, thank you very much). And even the intricacy and detail of creation. It's all so orderly and neat. It reminds me that even when my life is chaotic, God has it under control. If He has arranged even the little petals on a daisy to be symmetrical, I am pretty sure He can handle my life too.

Like it says in Matthew 6:25-27 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

The Better Thing

I kind of feel like Martha right now. You know the drill. All of a sudden, a million things slam into the windshield of your life, and you're scrambling to clean all of them off and re-instate your life to a calm, sedate pace. (When is life ever calm and sedate? Point taken. So maybe not calm and sedate but at least manageable.) And then once it seems that you can take a breath (maybe on a Sunday afternoon), then life starts all over again.

It's in those hectic moments that I think we often lose sight of God. Things start to crowd out our vision. We start to let our circumstances dictate when and how often we spend time with God instead of remembering that every moment is an opportunity to talk with and relate with Him.

I'm really tempted to do that right now. Life is busy. It's awesome being home, but relationships, work, and various events try to command my attention.

I feel like Jesus constantly has to say to me "Martha, Martha" (although He tends to substitute my name in for Martha). Mary was commended, not for her business, but her devotion to Christ. I'm sure she was plenty busy at times. Yet she didn't let that crowd out her time with Jesus.

Hmmmmm...

Am I, like Mary, choosing the better thing? Am I choosing to spend time at Jesus' feet?


A funny quote from today (that has nothing to do with the above):
Olivia and I were arm wrestling, and I beat her. She kind of laughs and then says, "Let's wrestle again!"
To which I respond, "Sure, if you want to get beat again."
She laughs, then rubs her arm and says seriously, "Give me just a second. I think my veins got trampled on that last time."

How does one trample on veins??? Haha!

There's Nothing like a Sister

It's always such an incredible blessing to be back home, even if it's for a short time. It's so nice to be somewhere familiar, somewhere where you've spent most of your growing up years. I have to admit, I'm a Georgia girl through and through. No matter where I go in life, I know Georgia will always feel like home when I come back to visit.

It's been strange seeing my sister, Olivia, again. My other sisters are on a mission trip with my church to Nicaragua, so I've been able to spend some time with just Olivia. The last time I saw her, she was still a little girl. Now, she's almost as tall as I am, and she's starting to sound like my other sisters. I can't believe she's going to be 14 this September. I'm realizing more and more how much I miss seeing her grow up. I most likely won't get to see her graduate from high school. It's crazy how fast time flies. I remember when we first adopted her, and how she always had the cutest little potbelly as a baby. She probably won't appreciate me mentioning that, but it was really adorable!

The same goes for Marissa. It seems like just yesterday that I remember my parents announcing that we were going to have a new little sister. I remember the thrill of holding her tiny little form in my arms. I wanted to keep her there and never let her go. I remember asking my mom when she could play with us (of course, that's the only thing that matters to an energetic five-year-old). My mom had to gently remind me that Marissa was still a baby, and she wouldn't be able to play with us for a while yet. But let me tell you, when she started walking, she was on the move! Constantly. It was sometimes all we could do to keep her sitting still. And I think it was sometime around there that we gave her the affectionate nickname "Rissy", because, obviously, Marissa is too long of a name for a little girl. And somehow, even though she's not a little girl any more, the name has stuck. I think it'll stick for a long time.

And Cari. Wow, where would I be without her? The sister who I've laughed with, cried with, fought with, and played with since I was one and a half. My mom has videos of me and her together, both of us in diapers because I wanted to be just like my baby sister. Not the most flattering memory, but still pretty cute (if I say so myself). I don't remember much of our early years, but I remember she was always there for me. We did pretty much everything together. And then I grew up. I started blazing my own trail, my own way into the adult world. There are times when I still wish that we could travel it together. But I know that her path will look different than mine. I know that I will always miss that companionship.

It's going to be a great month, getting to hang out with these three girls who are fast becoming women. I'm excited! I treasure these days, because I know that I will desperately miss them in the years to come when I'm on the mission field and so, so far away.

I'm reminded of the quote that says "In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips."

Yup, it's true.

Pictures from PNG

Finally, some pictures from my trip! I'll be adding more as time goes on.

We made it (He is faithful)

Thank you guys SO much for praying!!! I honestly believe that's the only reason we made it back to the States. Our flights were a complete mess coming back. Our first flight took off 45 minutes after it was supposed to, so by the time we got to Port Moresby (capitol city of PNG), they had already shut down the ticket counter for our flight to Australia. Thankfully, some of New Tribes Mission's government representatives met us at the airport, so they were able to push the workers to check us in. We raced through customs and security, and managed to make it on the flight just in time! We had a 13 hour layover in Brisbane, which was long, but we were thankfully able to get some sleep. But, during the middle of the night, they cancelled our flight to Sydney. Go figure? So we had to get up around 4am to get our airline to find us another flight. Thankfully, there was one leaving 30 minutes earlier than our original one was scheduled to leave, so we were able to get on that. We flew to Sydney in great timing. Hey, here's a fun fact for you, it's currently winter Australia, so it was 50 degrees when we stepped out of the airplane onto the tarmac. Oh, believe me, that was GREAT FUN after just coming from temperatures of 80-90 degrees! (the sarcasm light was flashing there...) Anyways, after nearly freezing to death while walking for thirty seconds over the tarmac, we found out that our flight to LA had been pushed back to a departure of 1:40pm instead of the original 9:45am due to some schedule changes with flights from the previous day. SO.... thankfully we didn't have any connecting flights in LA. We survived the 13 hour flight to LA fine, and now we're in California with my grandparents.

So, as you can see, we definitely needed the prayer! It was an incredible trip, and it was so cool just to see God work out all the details. I've seen so much more clearly how He cares about everything in my life. He is completely and utterly faithful!

Why do I ever doubt Him???

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful

God, You are faithful

Last Day in PNG

Yup, I know there's a severe lack of posts regarding my trip to Papua New Guinea on my blog. I think that may sort of be my fault? Actually, I think it has to do more with the fact that I was without internet/email for the past two weeks, so there was really no way for me to post on here. At least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. :)

Ok, so I've discovered that Papua New Guinea is a country that is full of surprises and quirks (like any other country, obviously). For example, on Friday, we (Josiah, Rachel, my cousin Jeph, and I) were supposed to fly out of my uncle and aunt's tribe, the Kaulong, to stay for a few days at the mission base in Hoskins. We had purchased our tickets three weeks in advance, so of course we should be on the flight, right? Well, that would be right in the States. We had to really push to get on the flight, and even then we weren't sure if they'd have space for us. But God provided 4 seats for us so we could make it out to Hoskins. What a blessing!

Another funny thing is that everyone here has a cell phone. They might live in the dumpiest place around, but they have a cell phone. Go figure? Kind of like the States....

Oh, and you know how in planes, they always have the flight attendants saying stuff like, "Smoking is not allowed on this flight"? Well, you know you're in PNG when the flight attendants say "Chewing beetle nut is prohibited in the airport terminal." Beetle nut is a type of nut (shocking, I know). It's actually used here as a narcotic, but pretty much everyone chews it. It creates this red juice, and people spit it out. But, since the airport owners would rather not have red stains all over the floor of their airport, they prohibit the use of beetle nut in the airport (and yes, I did just use "airport" three times in that sentence)

It's so interesting to see the differences between PNG culture and American culture. But I've loved every second of learning the differences and quirks. I love these people here, and I love the way they are laid back and friendly (for the most part). I am excited to hopefully return here soon!

I'll continue to post more about my trip as the days go by. I just wanted to post something quickly before we leave.

We fly out tomorrow morning (July 2 for us) from Hoskins, and we should arrive back in the States on July 3. I'm sad about leaving PNG, but I'm ready to get back home.

Here are a few more pics:

All muddy after a game of soccer in the rain (the brown on my pants is mud)

With a Kaulong believer and her daughter

Eating a meal (that's pig meat in my right hand and taro, a very bland root, in my left)

I'll try to post more soon (soon, however, is a very relative word. This may mean in the next few days, or in a week or so, depending on how much internet connection I have when I get back to the States as well as how often I'm sleeping from jet lag, as well as if my computer is still in my possession by the time I get back to the States... and yes, the list goes on. So, if you don't see any more pictures in a "soon" amount of time, just wait a bit longer and they will probably appear)! And yes, that last parenthetical statement was solely for the benefit of those who actually read all the way to the end of my rather random posts... As you may be able to tell, I'm rather tired at the moment. :)

Conference and Pictures

Haven't been quite as faithful to post on here as I would like due to the internet situation here. Right now, I'm on the New Tribes base at Hoskins with my uncle, aunt, and cousins. We've been having a great time here! This weekend was the regional conference for the missionaries located in the outlying islands of Papua New Guinea. Then this week, there is a Church Planting Workshop for missionaries here. It's been fun attending the sessions and listening to the teacher, who is actually one of our teachers from the Training Center back in Missouri.

While here, I've gotten to connect with a lot of the missionary kids. They are a lot of fun, and it's been cool to interact with them and hear their stories. A lot of them are undergoing some REALLY stressful situations, and they just need to talk about what's going on. I'm so glad I can listen to them and get an idea of what missionary life is like for them.

Here are a few pictures from my time in Tigak:

Learning how to make brooms Tigak style

About to eat a typical Tigak meal

The Tigak church

Sunset from the island

Thanks again for your prayers! God is teaching me a lot, and I am very grateful for my time here!

Time in Tigak

Wow, I can't even begin to describe my time here. It's been incredible getting to see firsthand what I've been preparing to do for the last year.

The Tigak tribe is spread out among several islands in the New Ireland province of Papua New Guinea. They are a very laid back people. They enjoy laughing and hanging out with their friends. For a living, they fish. The men hunt with spears and the women use a line and a hook. Just today, I got to see several dead stingrays that several of the men had speared. Very cool!

I've been able to spend a lot of time learning about the Tigak culture. Since I'm staying with the single lady, Aimee, on the team (the team consists of two couples and Aimee), I've been asking her all kinds of questions about how they live and think. It's a lot more complex than you would imagine! For instance, pretty much everyone is related somehow. If your relative comes to you asking for help (money for instance), you have to help them, even if you don't have much to begin with. It's an interesting concept and not one that we have in America. Not wrong, just different. (Yes, that was a Larry Craig reference for all those from MTC).

I've gotten to do a variety of activities from weaving a mat from palm leaves to attending a Tigak church service to snorkeling to learning how to speak Pidgin (the trade language of Papua New Guinea). I've been able to see firsthand how missionaries over here work together on a team, learn to deal with culture shock ans stress, and disciple a baby church.

Speaking of church, the Tigak church is very small but growing! You can be praying for them. There are currently 13 believers in this village (which is about 250 people), and they want to reach out to their friends and relatives. They are still baby believers, so the missionaries here are working hard to disciple them in God's Word.

It's so sobering to me to see these people living in fear and darkness. The hopelessness and heartache run deep. One unsaved couple in the village got in a fight earlier today, and the husband ended up slicing the wife's shoulder with a machete. It makes me so sad to hear things like that, and yet it fuels my desire to be able to go overseas and share the Gospel with a people group like the Tigak.

Pictures are coming! I should be able to post them by the end of this week.

Thank you all for praying! I know Satan wants to distract and discourage me. But God is really teaching me a TON, and I am so thankful that He has allowed me to come here!

Hi from PNG

I made it safely to the Tigak tribe in the New Ireland province of PNG. It's been a really neat day so far. I got a tour around the village and got to see the ocean in the daytime (we boated out to the island in the dark last night), which was really pretty! It's raining right now, so I'm happy to be inside, listening to the rain pounding on the tin roof. It's a really comforting sound.

Travelling here was good, but I'm very glad it's over! I had 6 flights and 1 boat ride to get here (not to mention the boat engine stalled on our way out to the island), but it's been really cool to see God's hand through it all. He showed me how much He cares for me and is protecting me, even in things like getting a good amount of sleep on the 14 hr flight over and allowing us to sit in first class on the flight from Salt Lake City to LA (we got to sit there since it was the airline's fault that we missed our flight from Cincinnati to LA). :)

Thank you all for praying! It's a huge blessing to me!

Flight Fun...

So our flight out of Kansas City was delayed a bit due to weather, so we missed our connecting flight to Cincinnati by 4 minutes (go figure). It's so funny how Satan really tries to distract and discourage us from doing God's work, and yet God is so incredibly faithful beyond our wildest expectations. There was a flight leaving for Salt Lake City (and then on to LA) in 20 minutes, so the agents were able to book us on the flight and we were able to make it on! Praise God! So now we're in the Salt Lake City airport about to board our flight to LA.

Thanks to all who are praying! We appreciate it more than you know!

Flying over the Rockies (see the snow?)

Heading to PNG!

So for those who don't know, I'm flying today to Papua New Guinea for a 5-week trip to get more familiar with the country and people there. I'll be traveling with Josiah and his girlfriend, Rachel, though I'll be headed to a few different locations during my time there. I'm very excited about this trip! My first flight leaves in about half an hour and I'll have one more flight in the US before I get on the 14 hour flight to Australia. From there, I'll catch another flight to the capitol of Papua New Guinea, and then one more flight to a town called Kavieng. From there, I'll be picked up by boat to spend a week with some missionaries on an island called Tigak. It will be an incredible time of getting to know the missionaries and see how they live life there.

I'll try to keep you guys updated fairly regularly (and post pictures!), but I can't promise I'll have consistent internet. If you'd like to contact me while I'm gone, the best e-mail address to use will probably be ashlyn_farrell@ntm.org.

Thanks in advance for all your prayers for my time in PNG! I'm very excited to see what God will teach me while I'm there.